1985 Camaro VS. a T-Rex

Fights are inevitable. Whether you’re standing your ground and protecting your pack or you’re just feeling randy for a bar brawl, if you’re not a wimp, you’ve probably engaged in fisticuffs with some poor sapling who thought he could defeat you. Battling for that #1 spot is an unavoidable occurrence in Mother Nature.

The food chain works like an NCAA tournament bracket. Everything (living or inanimate) is always duking it out to vie for the chance to confront the one decisive ruler: Man. While they will all inevitably lose, it’s fun to asses which creatures would advance farther than others, if for nothing more than our pure amusement.

Today we present two terrifying, albeit inadequate, adversaries:

a 1985 Camaro VS. a T-Rex

T-Rex – Even though his name translates to “Tyrant King” we can overlook his overly- ambitious nomenclature and talk stats. This little guy stands at 20 ft. tall with a 43 ft. length, weighing in at 6.8 tons. In proper manly form, he is a carnivorous predator with a healthy set of heterodontic knives for teeth so that smaller helpless creatures don’t just get eaten but are taught a lesson in consummation prior to swallowing!

’85 Camaro – This muscle car has not only been the supreme choice of white trash America for decades but in some ways embodies the pure definition of macho with its throttle body fuel injection, Turbo-Hydramatic 700R4 four-speed automatic transmissions, and five-speed manual transmissions. It’s also worth mentioning its hatchback body structure gives a stern warning to 3rd-wheelers that there’s no room available except for you (the driver) and a sweet lady-friend riding shotgun. Lastly, this bad boy can smoke its opponents going 0 to 60 in 5.8 seconds in a race. That’s a pretty fast ride.

While the ’85 Camaro is a definite chick magnet, it’s hard to drive a fine lady to make-out point and blasting some KISS to set the mood when your 16-inch Z rated tires have been chewed off and spit out like bubble gum by a Cretaceous beast! Mr. Camaro also loses points for reaching high speeds because a real man doesn’t run away from a fight! Sometimes being a lover instead of a fighter just doesn’t work in your favor.

Winner: T-freakin’-Rex!

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Curtis Lacombe

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03 2010

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