Wedgies and Atomic Wedgies

There are times when we must confront even our fellow man in order to establish dominance. Of course, this doesn’t always mean complete and utter annihilation. Like the growling of a panther or the snapping of a crab’s claw it’s simply a method to remind the naysayers that you are in charge and they better know their role.

As men we choose to adapt a more civilized method of admonition: The Wedgie

This powerful exercise must be done with stealth-like accuracy as you rush your fellow buddies in order to forcefully constrict their underwear out of their pants and up their weak and unsuspecting crack. Their howls of impotence will no doubt serve as a calling to other brethren that you have once again reinforced your stronghold as supreme ruler of the pack.

While many wedgies can be performed solo, sometimes the group method approach can be an even more effective form of suppressing an ego-uprising. The infinity of brawny hands grasping at one’s undergarments can be just what you need to scare them back into inferiority. They will plea and bargain but don’t let their sniveling baby sounds turn you into a weakling too.

Once all hands are on deck let the tugging commence!

The jostling of their body as it’s suspended off the ground by thin threads ravishing their nether-regions like some kind of hellish carnival ride gone wrong will have them weeping in lament. The laughter of their peers will haunt their memories for years to come and you can rest assured that their place as #2 will be cemented.

Atomic Wedgies are considered an upgrade in the wedgie attack development. Although a rare occurrence, if a man, caught in the throes of governance, can muster up the muscle he can successfully place the waistband over his victim’s head, ensuring a flawless victory. The Atomic Wedgie can be quite brutal in its execution, sometimes resulting in the decimation of the underwear itself.

You might feel twinges of regret as you perform these variations of shame upon your fellow man. He will beg and plea for you to stop but you must press on! The Wedgie is an act of supremacy that we have been performing since we were cavemen yanking loin cloths up some poor unsuspecting soul as he de-evolves into a puss-a-saurus.

Just remind yourself that when you’re done relocating their underpants they can keep the tattered remains as a souvenir of defeat.

About The Author

Curtis Lacombe

Other posts byCurtis Lacombe

Author his web site


03 2010

Your Comment