Hybrid Cars – Twice the Manliness

Many guys out there try to increase their man-factor by souping up oversized trucks, turning them into tanks sitting on 80 inch black donuts with extra tread. While it is truly manly to have a panzer with an XL flatbed so you can throw a king-sized mattress in it for baby-makin’ on the go, there is an alternative vehicle out there on the other end of the spectrum that’s just as manly. The butt of many jokes, Hybrid cars have begun to surface as quite the macho-mobile that can hold it’s own. The good news is these bad boys are still improving and with any luck they’ll be dominating the market putting all the other scrawny automobiles to shame.

So what makes this tiny package so manly? Well the answer is in the name. Any car that boasts not one but two fuel alternatives is manly in my book! This little guy offers big things in a small package. When crappy combustible engine cars only go till they hit E, the hybrid says “screw you, wieners! I got places to be!” switches to electric and keeps on cruisin’.

The biggest advantage to driving a hybrid is they are environmentally friendly. Now you might be wondering “is it manly to save the planet? Shouldn’t we be annihilating it with our bare hands and shouting praises of self satisfaction while dissing Mother Nature for being such a wimpy chump?”

Well…yes we should but if we did destroy the Earth we would have to live in space.

And, as cool as sports would be with no gravity, you would get pretty tired of eating dehydrated steaks and flying into black holes all the time. So we have to let nature live. Hybrid cars just help us to do that.

Let us not forget the effect being environmentally conscious has on hot hippie chicks. With one of these vehicles you’ll be swimming in granola girls in no time! They’ll be like “ooh, you care about the environment too?! Can you drive me to my yoga class?” and you’ll be like “Oh, I see how it is! Back then didn’t want me! Now I got a hybrid, ya all on me! Fine! Hop in, but take your dirty sandals off before you climb into this ride, sweet cheeks!”

So, before you scoff at some joe-blow for travelling around in a hybrid just remember that he’s got 2 instead of 1, and as we know having two of anything makes you much more manly. Seems to me like he’s got a couple reasons to be smug.

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Curtis Lacombe

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04 2010

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